"Dancing for an audience of one"

Michaela has only really been passionately passionate about 2 things.  Dancing and horse riding.  So you can imagine how hard it was for us to tell her that after she had her operation she wouldn’t be able to dance or ride horses for a long time after.  Possibly never.  She was devastated. 

She has accepted so many limitations over the years.  So many times over the years I have had to sit with her while she cried, hurt and angry and frustrated that she couldn’t do things that her friends could.  Why did God make me with a skew back?  Why must I be the only one wearing a back brace?  Why didn’t God just make me the same as everyone else?  Often in my heart I would be asking God exactly the same thing!

We know that the Lord has been with her and with us every step of the way.  We have seen miracle after miracle as dr’s predictions have fallen flat and she has made it to another mile stone.  But there have been many times I have wondered why the Lord doesn’t just get on with it and give us “the big one”.  Snap your fingers, Lord, and have her stand up straight, make her spine straight, her rib cage straight and everything else that has been affected by it.  I know you can do it.  My faith is bigger than a mustard seed.  It’s like the size of …… a really big Weeping Willow! I so WISH that His plans were in line with mine.

But even though our plans are not time aligning, He has once again come through with a miracle. 

Not even a year ago, Michaela danced in her last concert.  Not only was it really emotional for us being her last dance, but it was so special as she got to dance  “Cinderella” with her dad.  Their first dance together.   And probably their last.  I cried for days after the show ended.  How unfair that she wouldn’t be able to dance again.  A few days after the show,  Michaela and I were chatting, and she was telling me that when she dances it’s just like it’s her and the Lord, and she just feels like she is worshiping Him with her whole heart, and now she wasn’t going to have that.  I just thought angrily : Your loss, Lord!

But obviously the Lord never intended it to be His loss.  Three months ago, I had asked Michaela’s physio if she could possibly attend a two day dance workshop, just so that she could get some physical exercise and enjoyment at the same time.  Her answer was a definitive No.  Then this week, after her physio session, her physio broached the subject of her trying out dancing this term.  To say that Michaela was elated is a total understatement!  I’m surprised she didn’t do herself some damage the way she was dancing around the room.  Her dancing teacher was so precious and responded to the news about as enthusiastically as Michaela did. 

Of course my response, as the mother, was to get home as fast as I could and cry.

Cry because of everything my child has had to go through in her life. 

Cry  because of all the things that she has missed out on. 

Cry because despite all these things she has such a passion for life and for God. 

Cry because through everything He still blesses me over and over with miracles for my child. 

Cry because I am so grateful that I have her to cry about. 

And through all of this, even though it doesn’t always feel like it, I know that I am so blessed to be a witness to the mighty works, wonders and miracles of my Lord.  

“My God is an awesome God”!